Author: Lisa Ann (---.an2.sfo17.da.uu.net)
Date: 10-14-2005 14:11
Hello, I have never done this before but was drawn to the beauty of this site. I thought it quite nice that Melanie let's people chitchat about life's ups and downs. It is so refreshing to find a person so caring and open to hearing and helping other people with personal issues. Well let me get on to what my obstacle is. On November 22, 2002 my younger sister gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy, Nathaniel. My sister and I you must know are very, very close. We both had children from previous relationships and we both had our children in high school. Nathaniel was different, he was her third and she was now in her twenties and I was almost thirty. I got excited everytime she had a child because after my first when I was 17, I could not have any more. So you can only imagine that I clung to my sister every time she had a child. Her two children previous to Nathaniel I was there, but she never let me stay in the room while she actually gave birth. (I always stood outside the door with my ear as close as I could get to it, waiting to hear whether it was a girl or a boy). With Nathaniel she let me stay. I got to watch the whole beautiful thing right there, and I got to help my radiant sister give birth. I got to cry with her and push with her and hold her legs......it was awesome.
After Nathaniel's birth my sister got ill and had to have a few surgeries. So everyone took turns with Nathaniel and his father helped, if he wasn't working. On the morning of February 29, 2003 I was taking my sister a mocha, she was in the hospital and bored out of her mind. As I walked through the corridor towards the entrance to the hospital I heard a familiar sound, my niece and nephew were playing close by. I yelled for them and they ran towards me. I was excited to see them, just as I looked up I saw my father coming towards us. I could see in his eyes there was something wrong. He sent the kids inside and he asked if I knew. I looked at him and said, "Know what?" He feel to pieces and said, "Lisa, Nathaniel died this morning from SIDS." At that moment I felt this immense pressure take over my chest. All I could think about was my sister, if I was so devastated, how would she feel?? My family had all gathered in the lobby of the hospital. I ran to the bathroom and was physically ill. When I saw my mother I could not hold it together, I cried so hard. I learned that no one had told my sister yet, she was sitting in her hospital room waiting to see him and all of us. When the time came it was Nathaniels father, my mother and father and me that went up to the room and told my sister. She screamed so loud I will never forget that sound..............ever. How do you overcome an obstacle like that?? She has no faith in anything anymore, and I.......I hold out hope for a better time, when she doesn't ache for him everyday. When I don't wake up thinking about what he would look like or sound like or smell like. When she and I talk about it that's one thing we both miss, his smell. We know that he wouldn't be a baby right now, but, man that smell was wonderful.
Lisa Ann
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