Message from Leighton in Addictions Forum:

Hi Gang. If you've read my other message in here, you may have gathered I'm not an entirely happy bunny. BUT...anything is better than the years and years I spent in the grip of addiction, personally to alcohol. I'm 28 and first thought I may have had a problem nearly ten years ago...I've thrown away most of my twenties on boozing. A few years back I quit for a year and things got better…but I was only a dry-drunk, waiting for a fairy to fly along and say, "It's OK now Leighton, you're much better - have a drink! After all, you're friends all do it all the time and they're OK!" Of course, eventually I did setting off the chain of events that has led me to today. I firmly believe in the AA program and thank God every day for leading me to it, I am about to work Step one and really feel positive about things. But, for most of the time but not all, I am rather lonely and still feel bitter and resentful about things. I know how destructive these emotions can be and have people to ring when I feel really down or confused about it...I live on my own and don't go out anymore. My friends go to clubs, the pubs etc and being a gay man if you want to meet other gay men; you have to go to places where alcohol is served. Sorry for bothering you all with this but right now I just have to ask - is this all there is? For the rest of my life, recovery? I have lots and friends and my family have been brilliant so I've had lots of support but I just feel so much regret and shame that I've independently ruined most of my youth (not all of it was bad admittedly) and I've been much luckier than some. I just don't have any fun anymore. How did the rest of you find early recovery? I really need support and advice right now. It's early days for me at meetings and I still feel a little embarrassed to share these feelings there.

God bless for now,
Leighton XX

Leighton,

Sorry this is so late. I am an extremely honest person so here goes...I think our twenties are extremely difficult. Forgive yourself for going wild. Your thirties will be fabulous, as long as you stay sober, which I am sure you will and your forties will be the time of your life...I don't know about the fifties because I am not there yet!!! Also think about the families of the victims of the WTC and perhaps you will stop feeling sorry for yourself. Life is and can be beautiful, but only if you choose it to be. It is all up to us to beat the gene we were given of addiction. I am right there with you, taking it one day at a time...

Lots of love and hope,
Melanie
xoxox